Democratic Party Platforms
"We're not the Republicans!" didn't seem to work too well for Kerry.
"We'll try to be hip and likeable!" didn't work for Gore or Kerry.
"War bad! Bush stupid!" doesn't seem to work.
Hmmmmm.....they definitely need some new platforms. I don't know...maybe something about helping the poor, providing health insurance for children, being fiscally responsible, or creating jobs in America not China or India. They sound like a half decent place to start. Maybe they should be a little more tolerable and diverse too while their at it. It's amusing how they support Casey for Senate while ousting Lieberman as I'm sure they would love to have done to Casey's father. Maybe if they were a little more accepting of religion and a difference of opinion, other than when it helped them destroy the evil former Senator Rick Santorum (doesn't that just sound great), they would fare better. I'll keep working on some new platforms.
"We'll try to be hip and likeable!" didn't work for Gore or Kerry.
"War bad! Bush stupid!" doesn't seem to work.
Hmmmmm.....they definitely need some new platforms. I don't know...maybe something about helping the poor, providing health insurance for children, being fiscally responsible, or creating jobs in America not China or India. They sound like a half decent place to start. Maybe they should be a little more tolerable and diverse too while their at it. It's amusing how they support Casey for Senate while ousting Lieberman as I'm sure they would love to have done to Casey's father. Maybe if they were a little more accepting of religion and a difference of opinion, other than when it helped them destroy the evil former Senator Rick Santorum (doesn't that just sound great), they would fare better. I'll keep working on some new platforms.
posted by John E. at
03:57
5 Comments:
What I thought up (after a couple beers, I admit) was "Let's fight terrorism by having smarter energy policy: higher standards for car and truck (especially trucks!) gas mileage; investment in renewable & alternative energy sources; takeover of Nevada by the Dept. of Energy so Yucca Mountain can be used to store nuclear waste. And, surprise: these measures just happen to be good environmental policies." Thrown in some support for the foreign aid measures suggested by the Copenhagen Consensus (a cost-benefit ranking of the top health priorities of developing countries) and I'd go nuts.
By
Anonymous, at Wed Nov 08, 04:17:00 AM GMT
I don't know. I want the freedom to drive a truck that burns as much oil as I decide. I'm American. That's my choice!
Seriously though, that actually sounds like a decent idea. You should propose it to Dean or someone.
By
John E., at Wed Nov 08, 04:25:00 AM GMT
The problem, though, is this-- how do you convince people who care about nothing but abortion and gay marriage that anything else is worthwhile? Promise to pad their pockets. That's all I can come up with. Stir up a whole pot of anti-rich-people sentiment and hope the public doesn't see that this is coming from rich Democrats.
By
Nate, at Wed Nov 08, 04:25:00 AM GMT
A better idea. Have the non-rich unite creating their own "grassroots" party and blow the other two parties out of the water. If only people could get over abortion and homosexuals. I have an idea that will displease both sides. We can abort all gay babies!
Back to what I was saying. If the non-rich all united, the rich wouldn't stand a chance.
If that doesn't work, we could just try to make the environment, energy, and wars religious issues as hot as abortion and homosexuality. I'm not yet sure how...I'm working on that.
By
John E., at Wed Nov 08, 04:33:00 AM GMT
Yeah, I've never been able to solve that problem. Jim Wallis, among others, has tried.
By
Nate, at Wed Nov 08, 05:17:00 AM GMT
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