Why I Will Vote For Hillary

(aka. "the dirtiest scum gets my vote")

0. All politicians are evil.

1. When a politician seems good, that impression can be blamed on lack of experience.

2. Thanks to Rush Limbaugh, there's nothing evil about Hillary Clinton that hasn't already been made public.*

3. Therefore, Hillary has a ton of political experience.

4. And since the most seasoned candidates are qualified to be president,

5. I'll vote for Hillary.

6. If things get better during Clinton Redux, you'll all thank me.

7. If things get worse, well, that's what we all expected. And meeting expectations can hardly be considered failure.

[Legal warning: This post is more of an exercise in political logic than a declaration of intent to vote for (or against) a particular candidate.]


* Apparently her Wellesley College Honors Thesis on political activism is sealed in the college library. Like no one else did stupid stuff in college. True, some of us admit it proudly. Then again, we're bad at keeping secrets.